September 09, 2004
My Suburban Diary
Posted by Jess in
Day to Day
While the sticks it is, yes, my street is also the heart of suburbia. Two matching cul-de-sacs on either end (no, we don’t fly in… the street is a T-junction), enough trees to provide shade, and the only traffic is from those that live here. It’s perfect. In fact, sometimes, it’s so perfect, that it only makes sense to poke a little fun at it.
One of these days I’ll tell you about the April Fool’s joke Matt and I pulled on our neighbor. We got a voice mail message in return… “allllright Strattons, this means war!”. I expect any day we’ll turn into those people from the movie, The Burbs. I have visions of me standing on my roof with my army hat and binoculars and… *shudder*.
MY SUBURBAN DIARY
7 AM
Called my neighbor directly to the left of me. We laughed about how the woman across the street who runs a day care has clients that drop their children off every day like clockwork. You could set your watch to the parents dropping their children off every day. Then my neighbor stopped laughing and said, “Oh man, the white caravan just pulled in? I better get in the shower!” and hung up.
9 AM
I am out with Reboot, and look around. Of my entire street, at the moment, I have the only car that is not a minivan. My neighbor to my right must be having a playgroup, there are about 10 minivans parked in the driveway. Either that, or it’s her turn to host the “Hell’s Mommies” party.
10AM
Get call from neighbor a few doors down telling me not to answer the door. The tax assessor is making the rounds. Neighbor wants to know, if she sleeps with the tax assessor, maybe he won’t write down the fact that they finished her basement last month. Neighbor’s husband calls and wants to know the same thing.
12PM
Talk to my neighbor who wants to know when I’m going to have children. She was the one who warned us when we moved in that there was “something in the water” in this street. I told her we have a RO filter installed. Talked to my other neighbor who is pregnant with her second child. I told her that when we finally do announce to the street that I am pregnant, I will be marching down the street with a white flag.
1 PM
Could get mail today, could not. Who knows. Depends on whether the mailman feels like delivering it today.
2 PM
Return all toys that Reboot stole to their respective houses.
3PM
Visit the neighbors in the street walking dogs/children/tax assessors. We joke about whose turn it is to mow the cul-de-sac. Neighbor claims his house is not directly on it, so he’s safe. Another neighbor just proudly turned up with a riding mower one day – he’ll be proud until he realizes he’s ‘inherited’ the cul-de-sac.
4PM
UPS driver pulls in. Reboot barks protectively. Then starts whining for her biscuit from the UPS guy. I get a call from my neighbor who wants to know if I just got anything good.
5, 6, 7, 8 – MIDNIGHT
Reboot goes to neighbor’s door and swipes it with her paw to “knock”. Neighbor lets her in. Reboot gets an extra dinner. Leaves that house, goes to next. That neighbor lets their dog out to go play with Reboot.
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Comments
Geez, Jess, you're getting me jealous with you going on about your neighborhood like that. It sounds really quite wonderful. So far, the folks we've met in the community where our house is being built all seem real friendly and I hope we can have as great an experience as you guys have. Although reading about Reboot going to one place and getting some grub, going to the next for playtime, ...Man, that dude's got it made!
