December 17, 2004
Jess's List of Christmas Song Superlatives 2004
Posted by Jess in
Geek Humor
The Holiday season brings good tidings, yule logs, and oodles of radio stations that completely forgo their usual programming to bring us 24 hours of holiday accompaniment.
I do like it, and in my car, the dial occasionally creeps over to these stations, because there are a lot of holiday songs that are really, really beautiful.
However, there are those *other* songs that I have completely mixed feelings about, and it seems they deserve their own category. So here it is, without further ado, Jess's List of Christmas Song Superlatives 2004:
1. Best Horns To Get Everyone Dancing:
Christmas Rapping by The Waitresses
2. Best Song To Get Your Butt Moving When it’s Christmas Eve And You Still Have Gifts To Get:
Run, Run Rudolph
3. Song I’d Most Love To Hear Redone By Danny Elfman:
O Holy Night
4. Song I'd Be So Thrilled If I Never Heard Again:
Tie! Twelve Pains of Christmas, or Band-Aid’s Do They Know It’s Christmas
5. Song With the Most Painfully Obvious Attempt At Glurge:
The Christmas Shoes
6. First and Most Famous Attempt at Modernizing a Christmas Carol:
Deck the Halls (1984), Manheim Steamroller
7. Most Evil Threatening-Sounding Christmas Carol:
The Carol of the Bells (1988), Manheim Steamroller
8. Song with the Most Misheard Lyric:
Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer (Olive, the other reindeer)
9. Most Unforgettable Christmas Song Appearance in a Movie:
Deck the Halls in the Chinese restaurant, A Christmas Story
10. Best Use of Onomatopoeia in a Christmas Song When Sung By Many People Simultaneously:
"We wwwwwwsssshhhhh you a merry Christmas!"
(or, alternatively titled, Best Disappearance of a Vowel in a Christmas Carol When Sung By Many People Simultaneously)
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I'll let the people at Snopes.com give the best answer:
TAKEN DIRECTLY FROM SNOPES.COM DEFINITION OF GLURGE:
"What is glurge? Think of it as chicken soup with several cups of sugar mixed in: It's supposed to be a method of delivering a remedy for what ails you by adding sweetening to make the cure more appealing, but the result is more often a sickly-sweet concoction that induces hyperglycemic fits.
In ordinary language, glurge is the sending of inspirational (often supposedly "true") tales that conceal much darker meanings than the uplifting moral lessons they purport to offer, and that undermine their messages by fabricating and distorting historical fact in the guise of offering a "true story."
Jess
- Love the Christmas song list and also spending time with you guys on Saturday. You guys a just too much fun!!!
Thanks Martin! We had a blast, too. Izzy and Lily's pictures are now gracing our "fridge-o-kids that aren't ours". :-)
oooh, "Olive, the other reindeer"! We love that movie! lol
I thought the most misheard lyric was from Winter Wonderland:
"At night, we'll perspire
Ss we sit, by the fire
And face unafraid, the plans that we made
Walkin' in a winter wonderland"
LOL! And who can forget the classic Night Before Christmas blunder, though not a song, but a narration:
"Tore open the shutters and threw up the hash..."
I'm seeing hash flying up like confetti right now.
