August 10, 2005
Payback is a bitch
Posted by Matt in
Geek Humor
Jess’s parents have recently purchased a new computer and it came with a DVD burner. Jess’s dad has been converting old childhood movies of Jess and her brother into mpegs and last night, Jess and I were at the island in our kitchen watching a couple of them. Well, during this time, we were also having a conversation about the movies, laughing at certain parts and the whole time we were paying absolutely zero attention to Reboot. It seems that Reboot did not like being left out of the movie watching.
It used to be you would be going about your business and whack, you just got kicked in the leg by a dog who wants to play. She must have learned from past experiences that coming up and kicking us did not have the desired effect since every time she did it she got “the look” and a few scornful words. During last nights escapades, she just sat there for the 10 minutes we were watching the movies, staring at us longingly, whining and groaning to try and get our attention. After we were done watching the movies, I squatted down and had a few words with my “bold little puppy”. (quick aside: In first grade, Mrs. Morgan told me I was a “very bold boy” for not listening to her. So what if I was trying to start fires in the leaves at the back of the field at recess and she told me not to… I didn’t see a problem with it).
It was a calm conversation but she knew she was wrong. For the first minute, she couldn’t look at me. I believe it went something like “So what was all that whining about? When mommy and daddy are busy, you do not interrupt us with irritating whining. We know you're there and we take care of you when we are finished. Well at least you didn’t kick us.” Jess chimed in with the “Wow, she knows she is in trouble. She’s not even looking at you.” After a few more words with my dog I stood up and realized she now thought it was time for a treat. When she gets reprimanded for doing something wrong, we always try to end it on a happy note to show her we are no longer mad at her.
I seized the opportunity. For the next 5-10 minutes I made Reboot stick by my side. Not a heal type stay by my side, just a lackadaisical meandering type where she is free to roam as long as she stays close. I brought her with me downstairs while I had Jess hide a flavored rawhide treat beside the love seat. Jess then came downstairs and don’t be fooled, Reboot knew immediately there was a treat somewhere. These are amongst some of her favorite treats and the smell which her keen nose picked up when Jess walked in perked her right up.
We all went back upstairs after moving over the laundry but did she get to "find her treat”? Of course not! For the next two minutes, I continued to do stuff around the kitchen while Jess set up Mario Party. Reboot just sat there waiting for permission to go find her treat. After about another minute of silence, I squatted down again and began a new conversation with her (not really a conversation, I answered all my own questions… well almost all of em). “So Reboot, feeling a bit irritated? How did you like spending the last ten minutes or so knowing that there was a treat that you really want inches away and you just had to sit there and do nothing? Are you going to irritate us again with your whining or are you going to sit there patiently like a good dog and wait? Would you like to find your treat?” At this she didn’t know what to do. I didn’t say “go find your treat”, I asked her if she wanted to. She did her best to say yes, and me, realizing this, made her wait at least another 30 seconds to drive home my point. She was beginning an excited wiggle, her head was bobbing up and down, and little woofs were escaping to say what I only could assume was either “Yes, I want my treat” or “You insufferable bastard, why do you torture me so?! Just let me get my treat already!”. She tried to sneak off but immediately sat back down when Jess and I both said she did not have permission to get up. With a look in her eyes, I said one word… “Irritated?”. She didn’t know what to do. With an “Ok, go find your treat” she was off and the treat was tracked down in a matter of seconds.
So, some may say I'm strange for being "one of those people who talks to their pets like their people” but I think it is just that that made Reboot into what she is today. We always tell her what we are doing, where we are going and as a result she has learned how to construct sentences. We can put some key phrases together like “Reboot, time to go outside to hurry up and pee before you have to come inside and guard the house”. She knows "hurry up and pee” means to do just that. Stop the smelling of the roses and just do it. She knows “go outside”… what dog doesn’t? and she knows “guard the house” which means she is going to be left alone for a period of time and won’t be able to go out.
I wouldn't trade Reboot for the world. She is one of the best dogs I have ever known and it is not just because she is my dog. You need to meet Reboot to fully understand that she has some qualities you just don't normally see. She surprises us all the time with her ability to adjust and adapt to any situation, her awareness to know just how rough or gentle she can play and her constant alertness taking in all of her surroundings. We talk to her like a person, not because we are daft, we do it out of respect.
After coming up with the title for the blog last night, another thought came to me before I began typing this up. Wouldn’t it be funny to have a dog and name her “Payback”. People will give you the strangest looks when you introduce her. “Payback? That is an interesting name. Why would you name your dog 'Payback’?” And you get to reply with, “Well, she’s a bitch”
I crack me up :-P Goofiness? What goofiness? There is not an ounce of goofiness returned to this site.
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Comments
“Reboot, time to go outside to hurry up and pee before you have to come inside and guard the house”
wow. that is darn interesting.
Yeah, she definately has a cognitive train of thought... the reasoning is incredible, and that's how she's able to put sentences together.
For example, two weeks ago, I came home, and was at my computer and heard her whine. I went into the spare room, and she was sitting there with her ears down with the ferrets' squeak toy next to her (she had stolen it, and was confessing).
I did the typical "Not for Reboot! THIS is your toy" and she went on her merry way.
Later that night, unbeknownst to me, she walked up to Matt and sat down in front of him with the toy in her mouth. Matt said, "uh-uh, don't ask me, this is mommy's show. Go ask mommy."
She immediately went into to come see me, and sit down with the toy in her mouth and an expectant look on her face. I had no idea she had just talked to Matt, so I said "I can't believe you just did it AGAIN! No! THIS is your toy!"
I then went out to tell Matt, and he said, "no, I told her to go see you."
Then I felt bad, and waited a few minutes, took the toy and called her in. I said, "Reboot, you really want this, don't you?" She was sitting, and her tail started wagging and she kept whining.
So finally I gave it to her (I still can't believe she actually ASKED for it) and she was so happy for the rest of the night she kept whining of happiness and bringing it to us to show us.
You are NOT strange for talking to Reboot like she is a person (for other reasons...yes...but not for this...insert special thanks for car picture here...the PTO moms loved it:)...gave them your number! ) Perhaps if more couples talked to their "children" like the two of you speak to yours we would have more children in the world as smart and lovable and well behaved as Reboot....what a notion!
Thanks :-) I have learned a lot from the classes we took reboot to. All positive reinformcement and hardly any negative. I already know that some of the principles I learned in class will applied when Jess & I have kids. I especially like the pronged collar and think it would be a very effective way to keep kids in line :-P
I don't think you're strange for talking to your dog like she's a person. You are strange for not understanding that she didn't want rawhide... she wanted popcorn. That's the treat you get when you watch movies! :-)
-rich
