April 08, 2008
Show compassion by sharing war stories
Posted by Jess in
Tech Talk
I'm a consultant, developer, administrator, and technology coach all rolled into one. I've spoken to mass-crowds, single individuals, and to a bunch of rowdy high-schoolers and third graders. I meet with decision makers, CEO's, HR staff, residential users, IT administrators, grandmothers, small business owners, and any other end user in any given company on a regular basis.
They all have one thing in common: they are automatically on the defensive when they meet me.
Within the technology industry, there has always been one Great Universal Irony: Here's an entire industry that exists and was created solely to make life easier for end users. However, when end users get frustrated by that very technology, they tend to get equally as frustrated with the only people that can help them.
Who remembers SNL's "Nick Burns, Your Company's Computer Guy"? When I visit small businesses, I am almost always referred to as "the computer girl". Because I know how to use a computer, I also must know how to use the scanner, copier, and fax machine all-in-one, right? Not usually, especially when it's a $15,000 behemoth called the "6000 SUX"*. However, this is where the similarities between me and Nick Burns stop. While Nick would condescendingly suggest calling the company that made the printer because he only fixes *computers*, I'll be honest about it. "There's probably not much I can do without proper training on this equipment, but I'll certainly try. As my mechanic told me, try it yourself. If it gets ugly, stop!"
Not only have I established that I may not be able to help them because this requires more than casual skill, but I have now also placed myself alongside them – I've made it clear that I don't know how to use it any better than they do, though I can probably make more educated guesses. I also have explained my own woes, such as those with my mechanic. Who can't relate to that? The defensiveness is gone, and now I'm approachable as someone to vent to about the printer without fear of a condescending response. All I need to do is remind myself that I am a user, too. All these people want is to get their stuff done. Period.
Last week I was subcontracted to do some Adobe Acrobat Professional basics training for a small business. Once the training was done, I wanted to go to one desk and watch them go through the same process I had just done on my computer, to make sure they would be all set on their own equipment. As it turns out, the client had the "Standard" version on their PC, not "Professional", and could not do the one feature they had bought the software for. They were very irate, as they felt they had explained exactly what they wanted to do to the sales person, and had spent quite a bit of money on software licenses. Naturally, as I was there on behalf of the company, much of their irateness was directed at me.
Let the war story commence. I did know EXACTLY how they felt, because I go through this sort of thing myself. So why would I not tell them that? I'm not better than them just because I know how to use computers anymore than they are better than me because they can do their jobs. At the end of the day, we are all just human beings that deserve courtesy and respect from each other.
"I'm sorry you are frustrated. I know how hard it is to get muddled and overwhelmed when it comes to software you know nothing about. I own my own business and have to go through this, too. I know computers, now ask me what I know about running a business! Do you have any idea how many versions of Quickbooks there are? It's enough to drive a woman mad!"
Instantly everything changed. Expressions softened. The supervisor and I exchanged knowing, understanding eye contact. "I'm sorry", she said. "This is not your fault. You did an excellent job training."
Once damage-control was underway, it was easy to get a solution at hand. We talked and made plans to follow up about getting the required software upgrade. Business cards were exchanged. We shook hands upon leaving and the client was happy, or at least as happy as they could be under the circumstances.
If you ever find yourself in the "defensive danger zone", watch out for these signs of defensive body language that a war story from you is imminent and necessary:
- Person crosses arms or legs (this is an instinctual reaction to protect our physical vulnerabilities)
- Person retreats to their desk (they are subconsciously setting up a barrier between them and you)
- Person holds a folder or paper in front of them or close to them (again, this is a vulnerability barrier, like armor)
- Person physically leans away from you in some manner (this can be in any manner, such as leaning away from you in a chair, or if their feet are pointed away from you)
- Person presses lips together tightly
These are just a sampling of my arsenal from communication studies classes. The list goes on for all types of emotions, but we're clearly talking about defensive language here. These skills have treated me well over the years. Learn to watch out for nonverbal body language signs. Not only is it a great skill, but it's fun, too.
One of the most fun speaking engagements I ever did was as a guest speaker for the Freemasons. I was four months pregnant, and definitely showing, so at speaking engagements I always made it clear right away that I was pregnant – I wanted them to pay attention to what I was saying, not trying to play guessing games during the entire lecture. Here's a bunch of guys I'm talking to – not exactly interested in hearing tales of woe about morning sickness. However, everyone has one thing in common with someone else. Find it, and you've got a means to relate and connect with them. I'm pregnant and in a room with a bunch of men dressed to the hilt in tuxedos? What on Earth do I have in common with these guys? Food.
"Normally I love doing engagements like these, but then Bob called and asked me if I'd like to come to this meeting early for dinner. As you can see, I'm four months pregnant, so I was like, "free food! Score!" laughs
Those guys were great. When I was introduced as the guest speaker over dinner, one of the masons said, "It's about time they got some Goddess energy in here!"
Well it's nice to know not everyone is on the defensive immediately.
Permalink
Comments
Great post, Jess!
I've actually found it's pretty rare in IT folks to be empathic toward the end users, but this is a highly desirable trait to have. Obviously, you've seen the value of this in your work. We need to see more of this in our ranks. Thanks for sharing!
Chris
Early in my work life, I was not in IT. It angered me when IT people had a lousy attitude about helping people. Hiding behind technology like it was such a mystery that only they possessed the key to. I pride myself in helping my users with respect and speed.
Great post, Jess.
This is a great post. In my opinion, it is largely summarized by following the motto, "People don't care how much you know until they know how much you care."
Being a technologist and "expert" is all relative. The key is being able to relate to our audience, whether it is 1 person we are talking with or 1,000 people. As a fellow educator, speaker and technologist, I have a few techniques that also serve well to promote the "He is just another person" ethos. 1) Remove/Limit barriers whenever possible. For example, when I present at events such as Lotusphere, I avoid standing behind podiums and prefer to stand in an aisle than on the stage. 2) Be Respectful and Humble. A simple "Thank you" acknowledgement when given attention from a person or group shows respect for the other person/group's time. 3) Be Confident and Humble. This concept is truly significant--to know the boundaries of my knowledge and readily admit whether a topic is comfortably within or outside of those areas. Even when expressing an opinion on something I do not feel I have appropriate expertise, if said with confidence and conviction, it will be well received. Putting an appropriate disclaimer with the opinion is also important. 4) Admit mistakes. We all make them and if one is identified while in the presence of the audience or I have the reasonable ability to contact the audience later, I admit to it.
Don't panic! , free adult porn movie clips, [url="http://www.unicyclist.com/forums/member.php?u=16976"]free adult porn movie clips[/url], http://www.unicyclist.com/forums/member.php?u=16976 free adult porn movie clips, free shemale porn vids, [url="http://us.cyworld.com/free_porn_vids"]free shemale porn vids[/url], http://us.cyworld.com/free_porn_vids free shemale porn vids,
