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April 26, 2008
The Story of Mr. Floppy Ears
Posted by Zoë in Zoë
Ever since I moved out of my bassinette and into my crib, a bunny has been keeping a watchful eye over me. He used to sit at the far end of my crib but as of late, he snuggles with me at nap time, keeps me company when I am sitting in the living room and has even been so ambitious as to go on car rides with me.
Recently, Mr. Floppy Ears let me in on a “little secret”. His real name is Theodore Evan Bear or Ted E. Bear for short. I told him that it was a silly name for a bunny rabbit. Then he did the most amazing thing! He took off his hood to reveal that he was a bear disguised as a rabbit. I was flabbergasted!
At first, I wanted to know why he felt he needed to disguise himself. He began by telling me that recent studies showed that bunnies were 75% more likely to be adopted as stuffed animal friends over bears. It seems that children who have teddy bears for friends get mauled by bears 30% more then those who do not while children who have bunnies as friends have a 0.4% chance of getting mauled by a bunny. The most recent case of a bunny attack was not really that recent at all but recorded in 1974 by a Mr. Monty Python.
He went on to tell me that his cousin, Smokey T. was recently fined $5000 when a 4 year old ran to a grizzly bear in Vermont to ask for assistance in putting out a camp fire.
I couldn’t believe what I was hearing!
As Ted went on, I was all ears. He told me he is a member of a private organization funded by a certain bear building workshop that shall remain nameless. This workshop has been striving to renew children’s trust in teddy bears by allowing them to make their own bears. Thanks to their contributions and radical approach to this crisis, teddy bears are once again beating the stuffing out of the competition.
On hearing this, I gave him the biggest smile, grabbed him, stuck out my tongue and drooled on him. He is my best friend and also very absorbent. Without him, I don’t know what I would do. Thank you Mr. Floppy Ears for infiltrating the stuffed bunny uprising and informing the world of the atrocities “recent studies” can cause.
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Jess (please read this to Zoe).
That was a really cute story. But even though Ted disguised himself as a bunny, did he still attend the picnic? ;)
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